Harmony of Feelings by Juliana Nan

found this gorgeous art techniques from Deviant Art <3

today someone told me something which is quietly clear and loud. “move on, shel” “you gotta let go” “find someone new”. after college time in the afternoon, we decided to eat good food at Ichiban Sushi just to celebrate the end of our semester. mirra-san, my bff, brought a tarot card and therefore we ask her to “read” us. again, no different than last six months, the card that showed is about “forget your past. forget your ex. start a new life. you gotta end it”. and again i sigh. taking heavy deep breath. knowing that i still cannot move on. it sucks. i have had enough of his shadow. i hate it so much. i wish i could just take off my brain of my head. cut and remove some neuron in which his memories lies and put the brain back again inside my head. oh you never know how many times i have had think about doing that. in the end now i’m sitting in front of my computer at my room just thinking about a lot of thing about what is it exactly this kind of feeling i feel inside. 6 years old feelings that maybe still the same as how i feel so warm every time i see him smiling at me. 6 years old feelings that maybe still as strong as how it supposed to be in the beginning of our relationship. if only i could turn back the time and choose not to fall in love this hard with him. if only i could, i would. how on earth i should fix this bleeding heart? even i myself not sure whether i can be in love with someone again or not.

another peaceful day from my second day of holiday. i woke up in the afternoon just to realize that i still have more time to sleep. so yay i love my day.

a recent weeks ago i just had a terrible busy damn hectic weeks as i always had in every end semester of my architecture study. but this one is a bit different because it’s a master program. IT’S HARDER YET SO TIRING!! i cried a lot. the harder i try, the more i realize that there’s still more and more things i got to think and work on to get done. TO DESIGN SOMETHING IS TO SOLVE PROBLEM. it is so hard to become an architect. i know. it is my dream since i was 10 years old. and now that nightmare is over at least for now. i just had two external review from two principal architect last wednesday and friday. thank god it’s over. though my circulation is not well design as Mr. Tateng said. and yay finally it’s HOLIDAY yeah!